Feeling as lost as a sheep. Just when I mentioned I have never felt this way for a guy for 4 years, shit had to happen.



Amelia,

If I had you by my side, you'd be watching animated movies like finding dory with me... Every time I feel as though my life is a little too good to be true, I think it might be you that has been blessing me. Yesterday night was the first time in 3, maybe 4 years that I held someone's hands roaming around the streets of Orchard. I remembered how all of us 7 girls used to do that, we just do it naturally and we have the biggest smiles on our faces. That was what happened to me but this time round, it was with a guy and it was magical. It sucks that the closest I can get to you is through blogging on your blog like how I always do. It sucks that I don't have a best friend to call to share such good news or even when there's sad news.

Whenever I'm down, I'll go to the highest place that I can find to seek comfort as it feels as though I'm close to you. I haven't fallen this much for anyone for the past 4 years and I don't wanna lose it. So bless me my love and with your strength in me, I'll do whatever it takes to make this works and you'll be the prouddddddddest girlfriend of mine.

Lately I'm also suffering at my job. I'm leaving that place, my health and my energy has been drained out and I drink way too much on the job. Do you remember why I don't drink? I hope you do. I have been living my life reeeeally well and please know that you have always been in my heart. But babe, you'll have to share the space in my heart because there's currently you, my ahma and him trying to squeeze in and I hope I can manage well.

My grans is still at the hosp, and I don't know when will she return but she is doing well so far. Home just doesn't feel like home without her. But because grans is in the hospital, I fell in love with this guy only because he accompanied me without second thoughts to visit my grandmother, it felt like the world to me when someone would be willing to enter my world and be as kind and caring as I am. It might seem like it is so easy to win my heart but nope, he did it when he was drunk and tired. He hadn't slept and he waited for me to end work and he bought me breakfast. I do not know what is wrong with him to treat me so nice even though we haven't met more than 2 times but as wrong as it could get, it feels right. Work, on the other hand, has been tough last night but with all my loved ones in mind, it gets easier. You are my greatest motivation.

With love,
Angela.


I don't know who do I go to right now. My grans has been admitted to the ICU and things aren't looking too good. There's too much bad news going on babe, I can't handle this on my own. I am so afraid life is gonna snatch the people I love the most away from me again.

- I just got the news that what happened this morning was my grandmother experiencing a case of heart attack... I don't know when will she be back but I hope you were here with me.

I miss you Amelia

With love,
Angela


Amelia, you havee gone for 7 to 8 years? Time flies like ridiculously fast but it's such a shame when you're not as fortunate as the rest of us as we grow up by the second. But I'm curious as to where are you and honestly do watch over us even though all of us drifted.

It has been so long until the extent I can't remember if you know the guy from the last relationship I had. Do you know Kenneth? I can't really remember if you've met him but I've known him since sec 2 and you were still around then. Sigh, it's such a shame that the relationship is over. Has been a tough fight for me you know babe? I'm so tired.

All that I can do right now is just try to be strong, you know, pretend that I'm fine. Fake it till I make it. Please guide me dear. Oh how much I've been missing you. I don't wish to be such disturbance you know, I don't want to go around finding our old clique, telling them oh my relationship screw up, again. Arg I'm so tired of this................. I'm really wish you were still here by my side and I can tell you all my secrets and I know you'd be here when I ask you to. Sigh.

Lastly babe, do not blame any one of us here who actually forgotten about you. Forgive us for our ignorance. Forgive us that sometimes we humans do not appreciate the simple fact that we get to see tomorrow whereas you couldn't even if you wanted to. Forgive us that we get so busy that we don't seem to remember what it's like with you around... Forgive me that I take everything for granted and I get affected by the slightest things in my life. but babe you know I'm genuine as hell I don't even know what I'm supposed to do at times. Thank you because you were the first that didn't judge me for the path I chose to walk in the past.

If you were still here, I'm sure you're gna grow up into a really beautiful BFF of mine.

I love you, always will.

Angela


Have been thinking of you lately babe.
-Angela.